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My freind ( beliver) loved a traditional christian girl ( non beliver ) for 3 yrs.during affair she got converted.Both parents knows about this relation and they are agreed to the marriage ( her parents are still traditional christians ). they both slept 2 days during their relation.Now he want to leave her for a better future, cos he is highly educated compared to the girl.Is he doing the right thing?? can you give him some advice. The reason that he dont want to marry his lover is that she dont have the qualification to get a job in the country he works and he dont want to lead a seperate life from his wife after marriage and so he want to marry a girl who is able to settle outside. is he rite in his thoughts.. please help him, since i dont have a solution being his friend
Post by : jinsonmc2004
20 Apr 2006
Reply by : Varghese
20 Apr 2006 4:48:31 PM
This is an example of a guy who, as a believer (?), doesnít know what love is. Godly (Agape) love is what we see in John 3:16 where God loved and He gave sacrificially. Love is clearly defined in 1 Corinthians 13. Love is sacrificial, selfless and self-giving. What we see in the above case is merely lust i.e. carnal affection. Sadly to say, such cases exist!
First of all, God will punish those who sin. Both will reap the consequences of their actions. More accountability is on the one who is more mature in faith in leading the other astray.
The excuses given are just something cooked up to get away and evade accountability. The sin of promiscuity must be brought out in the open.
He must (1) own up to his actions, (2) accept responsibility, (3) repent, (4) ask God to fill him with agape love so that he would view this girl purely and treat her with respect, (5) and seek Godís wisdom & counsel regarding the right thing to do
The girl must also (1) own up to her actions, (2) accept responsibility and (3) repent.
Reply by : abygeorge
21 Apr 2006 2:16:24 PM
Dear jinsonmc2004 - You or He dont need any advice. "they both slept 2 days during their relation" - Meaning either one are realy belivers. All you have to advise is repent. Your freind ( beliver) - if he goes to a different place for green pastures, he will end up in another "affair"
Reply by : jinsonmc2004
22 Apr 2006 5:08:01 AM
Varghese & George , thanks for the reply. I spoke with my friend.He like to marry this girl..but problem is life after marriage. If he marry another girl who can settle with him in the place where he works, it will be a great releif to him , of course his desires will be full filled and it will prevent him in going sinfull ways ( since there is plenty of oppurtunity to do sin in the place he lives). But if he marry his present Girl Freind and live seperately , it will be hard for him to stop his desires. In all this 4 yrs of affair( that also seperated) , he did not go for any sin outside and he feels controlling it affected him mentally so much in his daily life and work life. And he cannot take another seperation after marriage and thinking about it makes him a weaker person.
Reply by : George P. Koshy
24 Apr 2006 8:33:38 AM
I understand from what you wrote that this man and the woman slept together, more than once, before they got married. They are still unmarried. Is that right? If that is not, then what is his responsibility? Did he knew that if he marry this woman, he may have some difficulty to make money? The question here is not, how to justify his action with this woman? If he is a believer, then he must repent of fornication and marry that woman whom he took and went in. He must be willing to bear the consequences of his actions.
Dear jinsonmc2004... Both Your friends will have to repent and pray to God for what they have done.Please tell your friend not to leave her just for job and money.Even if he get married to some one else, he will never get peace in his entire life.