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# 00140 :  Why is this Question?
I am a born again, new to this site. If I am wrong, I beg your Pardon. I will tell about the instance what made me feel bad about Brethrens. Our family is a poor, illeterated living in a remote area outside Kerala. Though my dad is 65 yrs of aged, he is still working because we are not in a condition to help him. But I really thank God for the way he is still laeding us. It is wonderful.
My sister is aged more than 25 yrs, few brothers came to see her. One EVANGELIST even told that he liked my sister and will convince his perants and arrange for the marriage. But he came to our hut to invite us for his marriege with a rich sister. We didn't know what to do. After that, few more brothes came and they are asking LAKHS together. We don't have a proper house, can not dream even about one lakh dowry. Though there is nothing mentioned in BIBLE about dowry, why we are following this Hindu culture in the name of "share in property"? We know very well about Jacob's marriage(I am Sorry if I am Wrong) Among our Catholic relatives, we, as a family, received Jesus Christ. Now they are blaming us as they hear about the Dowry system because they ask a maximum of Rs.25000 as dowry in our area. Don't know what to do. Request you all please guide me.
Post by : princemonys  View Profile    since : 13 Feb 2007

Reply by : mathai   View Profile   Since : 13 Feb 2007 8:48:56 PM Close
dear brother
dont be dis-heartened.
Donot look at other brethren or evalgelists.
They are not perfect. Look at the Lord.
I understand your needs. Go to the throne of Grace, God will show a way , at the right time.
We face similar problems in our brethren assembly, with most believers converted from other back ground.
We pray over the matter, and pray without ceasing.
Our assembly as a whole fast and pray on specific needs. God is faithful and showed the ways at the right time. Many of our sisters from poor families got married to the right boys without any confusion on dowry!
God Bless you and family.
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Reply by : p.josephraju   View Profile   Since : 14 Feb 2007 2:39:44 PM Close
Dear Prince:

Can you contact me personally by email.
I would love to correspond with you.
My email ID is :

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Reply by : servetus   View Profile   Since : 15 Feb 2007 9:23:16 PM Close
that is just plain one speaks out about these hindu traditions that have invaded your society...these things are bad and should be done away with...ofcourse no one wants to say anything about this because its been such an unquestioned tradition...i say call these people out
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Reply by : Varghese   View Profile   Since : 16 Feb 2007 7:18:55 PM Close
Looks like “servatus” cannot keep himself/herself from posting constantly since emerging recently in this forum. Maybe, that is why there’s lot of confusing/silly statements! I would encourage “servatus” to stop, read before he/she writes. What does “servatus” mean by “calling these people out”?
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Reply by : Varghese   View Profile   Since : 16 Feb 2007 7:26:15 PM Close
My heart goes out to what “princemonys “ stated. I have previously shared on this haunting unscriptural practice still prevalent in believers’ circle! It is one thing for parents to give inheritance to their children at the time of marriage. But is absolutely sad when believers use dowry as the reason to break or make a marriage. Those parents who struggle to come up with some form of “dowry” to meet the money-hungry suitors & their families only feel the pain of such!

I wonder why believers like Brethren keep silent to this painful reality! Is marriage considered a business deal? Is selecting a wife based on the simultaneous bank account that comes with it? If believers do not wake up and take a stand not to give/take dowry other than what the parents give their children happily/voluntarily, this trend will continue as a thorn to our testimony and spiritual well being!

I ask myself all the time as to why I was privileged to be born in a good family to godly parents and have a decent upbringing. What if I was born in a non-believing family in a communist country and to top it all, struggle with not having a decent meal? It is purely God’s grace and we must never forget that! All that we have can go in a heartbeat! We must also realize that all that we have is what God has given us and we are totally accountable to God. We better be good stewards of our time, health & wealth before it is too late! May we speak more with our lives and not just by what we preach! If only we can fully trust in God for all our needs rather than the money we so sadly desire from the hands of such parents who spent sleepless nights trying to raise “dowry” for their daughter!

God Bless!

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Reply by : vcsaju   View Profile   Since : 14 Mar 2007 2:02:44 AM Close
Dear Prince

I would like to correspond with you.
My mail id is

God Bless U !!!!!!

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Reply by : godly1   View Profile   Since : 15 Mar 2007 4:30:21 AM Close
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33)

Today's Word

A college professor teaching a course on time management set a large jar on his desk and filled it with big rocks. He asked his students, "Is the jar full?" They said yes. Then he poured a bag of small gravel into the jar. He asked, "Is the jar full?" and again received a "yes" answer. Then he poured in a bag of sand and a pitcher of water until all the crevices of the jar were filled. Then he asked, "All right, what does this illustration teach us?" One student replied, "That's easy. It teaches us that no matter how busy your life is, you can always make room for more."

"No, you've missed the point completely!" the professor said. "This teaches us that if you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all." This is a great life lesson! The big rocks are priorities that we give to god, and they have to be first on our schedules or they'll get crowded out by other things.

A Prayer for Today

God, help me to put the "big rocks" in first each day so I can get the really important things in my life done. Thank You for giving me all the time I need to do what really matters. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

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Reply by : samv   View Profile   Since : 15 Mar 2007 6:46:10 AM Close
True. Brother Varghese has said it well. Many of the bretherens are just like other non believers when it comes to money. It get worst when we travel to the north of Kerala. I have heared many of the bretherens asking huge amount of money for dowry. Even pentecosts are not bad!

When I grew up as a kid, I was taught to be a good believer. Even the bible teaches us to be that way. Then why we are all like marthomites? I think all of us need to be again baptised. I wish M.E. Cherian was still with us, so that he will remind brethren to be true brethren.

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Reply by : kbb   View Profile   Since : 16 Mar 2007 1:04:17 AM Close
Dear samv,
You have identified the problem and the solution very wonderfully. Dowry is a big problem in north kerala, brethren there are like marthomites, petecosts are not bad and finally - the ultimate solution for all the problems is a "SECOND BAPTISM" for those who don't take it daily.

Like the rich man who cried to Abraham in the Parable of "Richman & Lazarus - in Luke 16" we must cry to God to send Late M E Cherian once again to this world for reminding the brethren. Very good idea because dowry practice started after MEC's time and while MEC was alive no brethren gave or took dowry. How blessed a time was that.

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Reply by : kumbanadan   View Profile   Since : 16 Mar 2007 5:04:05 AM Close
hello brethren.
Dont blame just north kerala brethren.
It is a problem among all brethren.
5 crore marriage referred elsewhere took place in central kerala.
We all brethren need an examination.
Even those who vociferously oppose 'Dowry' on forums forget all that, when it comes to the marriage of their kids. "Andiyodadukumbol manga pulikkum"
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Reply by : George P. Koshy   View Profile   Since : 16 Mar 2007 9:05:11 AM Close
Dear 'samv,'

If we carefully consider the matter, then we will understand that ME Cherian learned from the God-breathed written words that came to us. The same witten words are with us. All we have to do is to read it as it is written and practice it as we read. If we are not willing, what is the use of having teachers and being learners?

The same answer that Abraham gave to the Rich Man, we have the God-breathed written words. If we are not willing to obey, then even if a dead person come and teach, we will not listen or obey.

Shalom Malekim!!!

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Reply by : George P. Koshy   View Profile   Since : 16 Mar 2007 9:07:59 AM Close
Dear 'kbb,'

I know the time when ME Cherian was alive. I also know that dowry was prevelant in those days. What you wrote is not true.

Shalom Malekim!!!

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Reply by : George P. Koshy   View Profile   Since : 16 Mar 2007 2:08:51 PM Close
Dear Readers,

I am not asking this question to a particular individual. We read almost unanimous agreement against dowry on this Forum. To those who are against it, let me ask:

Did you receive dowry when you got married?

Did you offer dowry, or agree to give dowry, before you gave your daughter to a suitable man as his wife?

Did you or your parents turned down a proposal because the dowry was not enough?

Those who don't have this sin, let him cast the first stone!

Last time when I asked a similar question that thread went to sleep.

Shalom Malekim!!!

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Reply by : kbb   View Profile   Since : 16 Mar 2007 11:29:33 PM Close

Dear GPK,
Your child like innocence is so lovely and you have put me to shame for my veiled sarcasm. My apologies.

Your brother in Christ

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