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# 00077 :  Marriage
Is it right for a beliver to register his marriage (without the knowledge of the church or family)and later on to solemnize the marriage in a brethren assembly?
Post by : noble  View Profile    since : 10 Jul 2005

Reply by : jotoms   View Profile   Since : 10 Jul 2005 9:22:46 AM Close
Dear Noble
the question itself shows that there is something wrong. why someone is hiding, and register the marriage and then later want to solemnize in assembly? If he can not inform the assembly in the begining itself, it is very clear that he want to do something aginst the practices of believers and such deeds should not be entertained in assemblies.
If a believer is attempting for a register marriage, its clear that he is going beyond the limits of word of god. He is indirectly forcing the assembly to accept his own decision of 'register marriage'.
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Reply by : sharon4christ   View Profile   Since : 10 Jul 2005 11:00:49 AM Close
Noble ,

I too agree with Jotoms .

But i would like , if senior members like brother "George P Koshy" & "Johnson C Philip" , would present their point of view regarding what you've asked .

Regards :

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Reply by : joa   View Profile   Since : 10 Jul 2005 9:57:56 PM Close
Marrying a non-baptised believer and later getting baptized. What you say abt this ?
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Reply by : sharon4christ   View Profile   Since : 10 Jul 2005 11:03:54 PM Close
Joa ,

I read a book by Walter Trobisch .
He is a believer & an Austrian Pastor.
He has taken this topic in many of his books .

And what he wrote really left me thinking !!!

He wrote - " If JESUS died for us the same moment when we needed to be saved & HE never hesitated in bearing that much criticism even being the son of God .......
then why we cannot follow HIS simple will , even knowing HIS great sacrifice " ????
" Why we plan about our tommorow , when our today is not upright" ??
" What guarantee we have that we will see the next day " ??
" If we plan to take baptism the next day ........ , who knows that the next moment is for you "??

I feel that ,
Why its not that , we convince the other person totally about how a believer must live ..... ?
Why to wait for tommorow to get baptized ?
If one knows the truth & believes what all JESUS has done for us , then he/she wont hesitate from getting baptized .

And as the Bible says ,
that the believers have not to do anything with the unbelievers !!

We have a choice & a chance , that we can direct them to Jesus , & lead them to true faith & to the will of Jesus .

We've got this boon .
We have it with us .
Why we cant use it ?
Or why we ask for something else ???

Please , its Not at all to hurt anyone , nor with a motive to misbehave !!

With Christian Greetings :

( )

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Reply by : jojialackal   View Profile   Since : 11 Jul 2005 4:12:48 AM Close
Dear brothers and sisters,
I too join with the openion of jotoms in this regard.

Also I would like to say in such cases assemblies must refrain from entertaining such members by slolmnizing thier marriage.

With Christian Greetings

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Reply by : philip   View Profile   Since : 11 Jul 2005 8:10:14 AM Close
Brother Noble:

I am sure, you being a brother taking responsibility in your assembly, know the answer to the question posed. But let me reassure you that these are burdens we innocent believers are dragged into by some "well-calculated and scheming" people.

My comments are:

1. Once married silently and secretly to get police protection, by registration, trying to "brethrenize" the marriage in an innocent way is outright cheating of the assembly and the brethren.

2. If an elder had played along with it, it is a crime committed to the assembly and such an elder ought to be relieved of the ministry and responsibility in the assembly.

3. If any other persons, like local "agents" had played this game behind the back of your assembly, scripturally we can say that such "evil minded" brethren ought to be put outside fellowship until they repent of their sin against the assembly and prove their repentence by sitting in the back for some time.

4. If the couple had already married by registration, it must be checked whether they had already consumated the marriage. If so, then they are doubly cheating the assembly by trying to come and stand in front of the assembly to get married.(This cannot be proved even by medical examination, as we do not know for how long they were in "love" and lived together before they got married by registration).

5. I would also like to say that if these are all done without the knowledge of the family of girl or the boy or both, it is cheating of the third degree. At least the "so called believer" party ought to have informed his parents so as to evade the degree of heart ache they would go through.

6. These crimes are all matters outside the discipline of the assembly and done knowingly and willfully. Such people need to be disciplined and kept out of fellowship and announced publicly in the assembly so as to make it a serious warning to others, lest someone will be tempted to repeat these "games" to spiritualize their actions of trying to "save" such souls.

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Reply by : llcj   View Profile   Since : 14 Jul 2005 12:58:51 PM Close
bro. philip, you write as if this is a problem already in some places??
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Reply by : noble   View Profile   Since : 19 Jul 2005 11:00:12 AM Close
Dear Brother
It is true that such marriages were permitted or solemnized in our assemblies. Many believers and leaders do not find any fault in it. They say that clear directions are not given in the New Testament regarding marriage solemnization and 1st century Christians did not hold weddings in churches.

What I feel is that
Marriage cannot be taken lightly- as
It is Divinely instituted Ge2: 24,Mar 10:6. Should be with the consent of parentsGe:24:50,51., Ge 28:8, and Illustrative of Christís union with his church Eph. 5:23. Le 21:3 "And he shall take a wife in her virginity " This wife the high priest was to take is thought to be an emblem of Christ and his church. Lets recall how often Lord refers to himself as the Bridegroom.

In order to reclaim Gods plan for matrimony the assemblies needs to have a healthy and firm stand. Please share what God has enlightened you in this regard through His word.

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Reply by : jojialackal   View Profile   Since : 24 Jul 2005 5:07:12 AM Close
Coming back to the subject posted by noble:
In such cases is it right to take punishment actions by the church(asking not to take part from Lord's Table for a certain period)against parents of the boy/girl.
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