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# 01232 :  Do u accept Love Marriage?
What is your opinion about love marriage?. can u give any biblical evidence for Love marriage.
Post by : godlymathew  View Profile    since : 26 Apr 2007


Reply by : George P. Koshy   View Profile   Since : 26 Apr 2007 2:32:17 PM Close
Dear Godly Mathew,

Jacob's and Sampson's are the two that I remember easily.

Shalom Malekim!!!

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Reply by : pc   View Profile   Since : 26 Apr 2007 11:46:49 PM Close
Num. 12:1
Moses married the Cuchite (Ethiopian- black)woman because he loved her. Miriam and Aron didn't like it and the anger of the Lord aroused against them.
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Reply by : nelnob1   View Profile   Since : 28 Apr 2007 3:01:48 AM Close
Dear "godlymathew"


Can anyone get married without loving each other.Love and trust are basics of a married life

Yours
Samuel.V.J

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Reply by : Varghese   View Profile   Since : 28 Apr 2007 2:56:55 PM Close
I believe what the author meant by ‘love marriage’ is to marry someone like you like. In India, ‘arranged marriage’ is still the norm in most cases but there are some who leave this mainstream mentality and marry someone they like. I hope the confusion is hereby cleared. If not, the author of this thread can explain more.

There have always been questions regarding the proper mode to find a partner. ‘Love Marriage’ is considered a taboo in India whereas it is the norm in western cultures. Without supporting either one, what does the Bible teach us? Please be reminded that this topic has been discussed before.

One thought to ponder is whether we can fully, unconditionally submit to God for His divine plan for us when we have a personal agenda. This could be any important decision like marriage, education, career etc.

Jim Elliott, a great missionary who was martyred in Ecuador, once wrote to his parents: “No one warns young people to follow Adam’s example. He waited till God saw his need. Then God made Adam sleep, prepared for his mate, and brought her to him. We need more of this ‘being asleep’ in the will of God. Then we can receive what he brings us in His own time, if at all. Instead we are set as bloodhounds after a partner, considering everyone we see until our minds are so concerned with the sex problem that we can talk of nothing else when bull-session time comes around. It is true that a fellow cannot ignore women - but he can think of them as he ought - as sisters, not as sparring partners!”

(Continued in Next)

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Reply by : Varghese   View Profile   Since : 28 Apr 2007 2:57:48 PM Close
(Continued from Previous)

Here is what I wrote a while back on this topic in the Youth Section:

“I would be extremely happy to meet 2 young believers in love, yet is seeking the Lord's perfect Will.

When we find 2 people in "love", the Lord's Will is absolutely out of the window. An undivided heart is required to know His will. As human beings, being in love will not produce an undivided heart.

Our tendency often is to see how far we can go close to the line w/o stepping over it. We tend to test God and His purposes. Brethren, merely satisfying God's law of "marry only believers" is not enough.

True love for someone is when we refuse to violate that person emotionally or physically by claiming that person as ours. Simply because that person is also God's property and maybe God has kept someone else for that person and we are merely grabbing the opportunity for our own selfish desires. Unless and until God gives us divine love (as in 1 Cor 13) to love that person, we are merely cultivating a different type of love ("Eros" or "Philia").

The question is whether we can trust God for all our needs including marriage and be willing to wait until God shows us and accept what He gives.”

God Bless!

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Reply by : bejoyaranmula   View Profile   Since : 29 Apr 2007 5:06:08 AM Close
What a wonderful answer :-)That made my day. Thank you brother Varghese.
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Reply by : wilson609   View Profile   Since : 29 Apr 2007 6:28:01 AM Close
dear bro varghese,
the answer you have provided,i am sure, will settle the confusion lingering in the minds of those for love marriages.i have'nt in my lifetime ever heard such a wonderful way of answering this ever often asked question,a gentle and yet a powerful punch indeed.
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Reply by : nelnob1   View Profile   Since : 29 Apr 2007 7:40:58 AM Close
Dear br.Varghese in Christ,

Thank you dear brother for the answer that thou hast given, this type of answers and guidance we are expecting from the saints who are well versed with the scriptures, I knew what the moderator was asking and pointing about, but I replied sarcastically, and thank you dear brother for spiritually guiding us.

Yours in Christ
Samuel.V.J

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Reply by : sunilajoseph@aol.com   View Profile   Since : 29 Apr 2007 9:13:36 PM Close
Love marriage:
We are living together because we are in love.

Arranged marriage:
We are living together because we have to live.

In both cases God is there, if both of you are born again. Find love in a person who is in the same faith. God doesn't like a believer to marry a non believer.

Sunila.

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Reply by : Varghese   View Profile   Since : 30 Apr 2007 11:15:35 AM Close
Thank you brothers for your feedback!

Finding a spiritual partner for oneself is fine, provided that certain spiritual conditions are met. In western cultures, believers meet potential partners on their own & eventually marry someone that they like. I believe the Biblical pattern is (1) to submit to God’s will at any cost (2) ask the Lord to lead us to the right person with much prayer and (3) once fully assured of God’s leading, cultivate Godly love as seen in 1 Corinthians 13 with all purity until the day of marriage & beyond. It is helpful to have counseling from mature believers before making any decision.

Jim Elliott’s life has been fascinating to me. In books (“Shadow of the Almighty”, “Passion and Purity”) written by his wife, Elisabeth Elliott, she outlines Jim’s life: How Jim served the Lord unconditionally, how his unwavering love for the Lord outweighed everything else and how he waited to know the Lord’s will concerning marriage. It is a tall order but Jim, though he liked Elisabeth, was willing to remain unmarried if that was God’s plan for him. Jim’s love for the Lord far outweighed his liking for Elisabeth! His decided to marry Elisabeth only after he was convinced of God’s will for him.

Normally, it is difficult to submit to God’s plan when we have a strong emotional tie with someone we like. We can find several convincing reasons to get God merely rubberstamp our ways. But God’s will is not for sale and He does not reveal His will to those who are not absolutely ready to accept it. In other words, we would not know God’s will if we are merely trying to know if it appeases us! God is neither a magic box nor a crystal ball! God will only show His will to those who are ready to accept His will no matter what! The bar is set very high and it is up to us to walk the talk!

The way, I would sum this important topic is on whether we are willing to be “asleep in God’s will”, trust Him fully for His choice in our lives and wait for His appointed time.

God Bless!

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Reply by : trds   View Profile   Since : 30 Apr 2007 5:52:56 PM Close
The discussion on this topic has more of wordly element than of Scriptural basis, and in addition, has several personal opinions, similar to the controversial discussions on worldly forums. It would be interesting to know what makes a boy/girl love, elope and marry, than to take the approval of their parents. If I have also to express my personal opinion, I would say that every boy/girl should be guided by God, through his/her parents provided they are all saved ones. The marriage should be based on the opinion expressed by the parents of boy and girl. It may happen sometimes that a boy and girl like each other and want to marry, but my question is what prevents them from seeking approval from their parents?

Whether it is arranged by parents, or boy and girl like each other and marry after obtaining permission from their parents, it is, as my understanding goes, within the will of God. If boy and girl elope without seeking the approval from thier parents or rebel against their opinion, it is equivalent to taking their own decision and rejecting the God's will. In cases where parents are not born-again, or children are not born-again, the debate goes again in wordly way. In western cultures, it may be very easy for a boy and girl to marry each other after liking each other, divorce, and remarry, but as far as Indian Christian culture goes, especially, if parents and children are born-again, I do not find any reason, why children should not seek the approval of parents prior to marriage.

My collegue said once that he visits, every week his parents and step parents, turn by turn, that is, parents, who gave birth to him, and parents who became step ones by sheer LOVE. (His father has two wives and his mother has two husbands). What a pathetic situation! Is it love marriage? It would be good to meditate on Samson and Delilah's story for some time.

It may also be interesting to meditate on what kind of love a person can show toward his opposite sex before marriage?

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Reply by : trds   View Profile   Since : 1 May 2007 6:46:50 AM Close
That was a good opinion and that is what in most of the cases, if not in all happens, when boy tries to touch the girl even before marriage, and the girl says, "Don't touch me".
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Reply by : godlymathew   View Profile   Since : 1 May 2007 12:40:37 PM Close
Bro. Samuel.V.J
My question was "love marriage" not "Love".
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Love ur wife after you get married dont love a girl and desire that she shuld become ur wife.

Thank u.

This fourm is not just for aim less arguments but to share useful and fruitful ideas in godly fear and brotherly loved.

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Reply by : George P. Koshy   View Profile   Since : 1 May 2007 1:48:18 PM Close
Dear Godly Mathew,

Could you use proper english words, when you are communicating on a Forum?

If I write as I think, you may not understand what I think or communicate. For exmaple, what do you think about the following:

(G->w-m=>L)^~{L->(m-w)v(w-m)}

Many times, this is how I think and it is the answer to your question. I hope that you will figure it out.

Shalom Malekim!!!

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Reply by : nelnob1   View Profile   Since : 1 May 2007 11:22:05 PM Close
Dear Godly Mathew,

As you have addressed it to me directly let me give you the reply, the next post of mine 29 Apr 2007 07:40:58 ,replying to Br.varghese will give you the reply what I meant. Well we brethren have the tendency to bring out things out of the scriptures and wait for the opinion of the readers of the forum, there is no harm in it, if you cannot love your counterpart before marriage then you are decieving, marriage is not happening on a single day, as per the systems of india and any place of the world there is a sytem called engagement where you have got at least a couple of days to love your wife before marriage, there are several types of love , father-children love, husband wife love, teacher-students - love, politicians -voters love, employee-employers love, friends (boys-boys, boy-girls love) a boy and girl can be friend, as a boy and boy , or a girl and girl can be a friend, but when the friendship goes beyond and any new relationship forms in a teenage when the youngsters are in a fantasy world, they choose thier own decision which several times leads to problems, when the parents have made you grow up to an age of getting married , they have more burden of getting the children married at the appropriate place, one of the dear brethren wrote about Samson, if we read down the chapter there is a querry from the parents and the adamant behavior of Samson was mentioned there and later we all are aware what happened to Samsons life.

Now we have brethren who have the tendency to do thier own will and seek opinion form the forum readers if it is right or wrong, dear brother , if any one loves any opposite sex at the age as per the laws of the land , let them first inform thier parents who have made you and made you teach, grow in a form that you are worthy to get married and give glory to God for keeping us intact and sound , and make it arranged and let the parents take the decision as per the will of God Almighty.


Yours in Christ
Samuel.V.J

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Reply by : godlymathew   View Profile   Since : 3 May 2007 12:58:46 PM Close
Bro. i am very glad to see your reply in the forum. it was most appropriate answer to the quwstion raised in the forum.

Thanks
Godly Mathew

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Reply by : imphal67   View Profile   Since : 1 Nov 2007 12:05:00 AM Close
I think that we in the Indian community too often throw around the words 'love marriage' and 'arranged marriages' in ways that make it sound like one is superior to the other.I think that the current trend with a lot of Indians living Inside or Outside of India is that'love marriage' is a cool thing. I believe they are just simple means of finding that special someone you love.if you are able to find a partner through the so called 'love marriage', then good for you. 'love' or 'arranged',either way love can only happen if the relationship is Christ centered. My wife and I have been married for the past 13 years. yes!, ours was a so called 'arranged marriage' I will be forever grateful to my cousin in India who introduced me to my wife. not only is she a beautiful person on the inside, but I just can't stop looking at her and thinking('YOU ARE ONE DROP DEAD GORGEOUS LOOKING LADY!') every time she wears a nice sari or salwar kameez.
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